Treatment

It's been a long road to find a treatment plan that works for me.  I've been on numerous medications and I've been treated by different doctors.  Before I get into my treatment I want to make it clear what has worked for me doesn't mean it will work for everyone.  We're all different and we respond to things differently.  I just want to provide some insight on my treatment so you can get a better idea of what this road has been like.

The first time I was treated by a doctor was around 2007-2008.  I went to him complaining of being depressed.  But I wasn't completely open and honest.  I didn't tell him about the mood swings I was experiencing.  I just said I'm depressed and that was it.  So his diagnosis was depression and he gave me a prescription for Celexa 40mg.  I took the Celexa for about two months and then I stopped.  I was feeling better so I thought I had this under control.  I wasn't long before the depression was back.  But instead of going back to my doctor I decided to self medicate.  I was taking prescription pain medication to cope with how I felt.  I thought it was helping me.  But is was just making the problem worse.  It's like putting a band-aid on an arterial bleed.  It was just creating more problems for me.  I became dependent on the pain meds, and was filling fraudulent prescriptions to obtain them.  It wasn't long before I was caught and arrested.

After my release three years later I became manic again.  I wasn't sleeping, I was going on spending sprees, I felt like I needed to make up for lost time.  As long as I had money and credit cards I felt great.  This was the longest manic episode I had ever experienced.  It continued for close to a year, but then the money ran out and I had maxed out the credit cards.  The feelings of greatness disappeared, I lost my self esteem, and suddenly I felt like a complete failure.  So back I went to the doctor, but again I just complained about being depressed, and I was given the Celexa again.  My moods were all over the place. Up and down, up and down.  Finally I reached my breaking point.  I was becoming suicidal.  I was beyond depressed, and I had never felt this low before.  My family talked me into going back to the doctor.  And when I told him how I felt, he urged me to voluntarily check into a mental health facility.  So that's what I did.  I saw the psychiatrist while I was there and he then diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and added a mood stabilizer along with the Celexa.  I spent 3 days there and was released.

It took a little bit of trial and error over the last few months to find a drug combination and dose that works.  Currently I'm on Celexa 20mg and Seroquel 200mg.  My psychiatrist just increased the dose of the Seroquel today.  She also wants to lower the dose of my Celexa because she feels it may be contributing to the start of a manic episode.   Like I said it took awhile to find something that worked for me, and to this day it still requires adjustments.  I have to remind myself that there isn't a cure for this and I'm not just going to wake up tomorrow and be better.  But this is manageable, and with the right treatment it is possible to live a productive normal life.  I think staying positive plays a big part in  managing this.  And I can't say enough how important it it's to be open with your doctors.  It can mean the difference between a right diagnosis and a wrong one.